Ray was cutting my hair last night. I was feeling restless. In an instant, the clippers were at my upper lip and the remnants of my stache littered the bathroom floor. I don’t know why I did it. I think I just wanted to be someone else.
There is a fork in the road ahead of me. Recent events have opened my eyes to the fact that life is not all about quantity in cars, money and people, it’s about quality in mind, body and spirit. Some of these events are rather personal and I do not care to disclose them to the world on my blog. Others are out in the open, most notably, watching friends and family deal with illness such as cancer. All the while, the media is still obsessed with Britney Spears and that pisses me off more than anything.
What are our priorities?
While living in Chicago or LA, it was easy to go out and experience fellowship with other gay men. Bars, parties, and open minded churches were just around the corner. Once Ray and I relocated to Arizona we quickly found out the price you pay to live in a remote area is a shortage of good restaurants and an occasional yearning to simply chat with other like-minded gay men.
God bless the Internet.
Right after we moved here, I happened upon a gay chat site. It was basically like a MySpace or Facebook for gay men. I uploaded a few photos and wrote a little blurb about myself and much to my surprise, about 10 minutes after posting the info, my little mailbox icon was flashing. Someone was saying hello! I was hooked.
At first, it was a bit awkward to tell someone the funny thing your friend in Battlebro, Vermont said because you’d inevitably be asked how you knew each other. There have been times where I’d ask a newly coupled pair–gay or straight– how they met and they’d always lower their voice, look left and right to make sure the coast was clear and say “We met chatting online.”
Actually, there’s nothing wrong with chatting online anymore–unless you do it too much.
With all these things going on around me and the fact that I had turned into an online barfly, I decided to make some simple changes in order to focus on a personal challenge. I deleted several online profiles and made an effort to get in better shape by being more active–which means not sitting in front of the computer all the time. To make this task even more intense, and significantly reduce caloric intake, I have decided to abstain from drinking alcohol for nine months. Why nine months? Several reasons, but most importantly, it’s the perfect gestational period for one to reinvent himself.
There are too many things I want to get done right now and I have a big project at work that needs my undivided attention. Less booze and more activity will surely help in my quest for physical tonality and mental clarity. I am at a turning point in my life where I need to make these things a priority otherwise it’s just going to get more difficult. It is my responsibility to to take care of myself now so that I’m not a burden to my family and the healthcare system in the future–assuming there will still be a healthcare system.
Not sure I like being stacheless though. Might have to grow it back.