OK, I never fart. I mean I never fart in public. Today at work, toward the end of the day, while I was wrapping things up at my desk, I let one go. No one was around except my one coworker in the office down the hall. He always stays late and when he leaves, he exits through the door at the far end of the building so I knew it was safe.
It was a good one.
Or a bad one depending on who you ask. I did, after all, have butter and garlic brussles sprouts the night before. I turned around to leave and there was my coworker standing at the door to my office. Talk about the elephant in the room. He started asking me all these questions about the meeting tomorrow morning. I tried to act like nothing happened but…you can’t ignore a fart. It’s not like some thing you can shift off into a corner. It’s everywhere. I tried to busy myself with my briefcase. It didn’t matter. My fart was permeating the air.
I did the only thing I could do in the situation. I just sat back down, smiled and answered his questions as if the fart-smell was as plain as the sun was shining. I took ownership of the fart. I claimed it.
He chatted for a bit, said goodnight and left.
Whatta ya going to do…?